THE END OF THE WORLD
FLASH the world ended today due to an accidental deletion of UGC - universal genome code - combined with improper use of Internet Exploder's System Restore protocol. Apparently, a government scientist tried to recover humanity's Master Source Code after accidentally deleting it. Through repeated trial and error, tech staff backed up the error into prehistoric times, where it eventually downloaded as a pair of encribed stone tablets. According to previous reports, a local Cro-Magnon was bringing them to his cave when he dropped them off a cliff, shattering all hope for the future.
